thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
