i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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