how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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