We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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