I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
