I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
