Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
