She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
