I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
