Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
