Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
