He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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