either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
i believe in u and ur pee
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
