Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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