glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize