Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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