remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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