Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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