No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
