he wants to bone in the snuggie
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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