I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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