Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
