At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Randomize
