When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
