she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
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Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
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I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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