So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
