Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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