GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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