so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
