if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize