im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
