is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
