I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You're a waste of cheezeits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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