She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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