At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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