She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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