...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
