i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
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