I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
