party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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