whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
