I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
