dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
We need to rekindle our bromance
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
