I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm getting married
To pizza
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Randomize
