Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize