never play flip cup with pint glasses
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize