Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
