I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
