I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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