i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize