I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
