Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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