is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
