I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
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You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
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Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice