the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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