I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
