everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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