are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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