i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
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