You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
