we have pet lesbian snakes
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
