$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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