I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
