Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
