I like to think it a success when the cops are called
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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