You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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