There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
