if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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