I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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