Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
