smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
